Today I'm going to be doing an analysis of I Still Believe from Miss Saigon. Overall one of the most emotional ballads in Miss Saigon. It is a duet between Kim and Ellen in which we hear about Kim's hopes to see Chris' return and Ellen's concern about Chris' past as it still has an impact on their relationship. This is the second song of the week. Just as a quick reminder I will do one of these individual song analysis every couple of weeks, so look out for the next addition to the series.
This week I have chosen I Still Believe from Miss Saigon. To begin looking just at the title of the song it only solidifies the strength of the shows central character Kim as despite everything she still goes on hoping and believing. This juxtaposes Ellen as she is trying to still believe just to cover up the cracks and uncertainty in her relationship with Chris. Making this song a very clear statement on one of the central themes of the show, the limits of love when faced with adversity, war in this case. This theme is prevalent throughout the show as it very clearly shows the differences between relationships and decisions built on the truth and real belief and those built on lies and a belief in hoping for the best. As well as the consequences of spontaneous decisions in the long run.
In the very beginning of the song we have Kim singing alone. Immediately you understand how desperate she is and that Chris is the only reason she has survived and is the only thing that has kept her going. It is clear that Kim still hopes and holds on to love because it was true. She still dreams and wills her belief into reality as she states "You are here... still" and says that Chris "will return". This strength of belief is what has allowed her to survive, raise her child, hold onto possessions from years prior that meant a lot to her. Showing that as a central character she represents hope that is near impossible to find in any other character in the show. Kim's determination is not effected by circumstances as she still sees a future that could be better rather than just surviving she is waiting out the worst. Planning how brilliant her life can be when the anguish ends rather than if it ends. Ultimately crafting the message that Kim carries, that what allows her to survive is the sheer will of knowing she can flourish in the future and that everything will end eventually.
We then move into the very different verses that Ellen sings. The lyrics echo those sung by
Kim but with a few changes that severely effect the emotional message of Ellen's verses in relation to it's differences from Kim. We see a reflection of their relationships with Chris. For Kim he is like a ghost who she "dreams" of whereas Ellen describes "the nightmare" coming "again". This shows that her relationship with Chris is volatile and full of lies. This has consequently bred a nightmare of a life rather than love. Yet again driving home the message of the show that the few moments shared between Kim and Chris were true and honest and that means a lot more than a relationship built on half truths. As the only thing Ellen desires is to know "what's haunting" Chris rather than when hoping and believing will pay off. This ties into the idea again that Chris is the ghost of happiness that allows the audience to see a reflection of each characters reactions to this. Ellen wishes for truth rather than assumption and Kim hopes that she can feel love again from Chris, and consequently because he represents a happy past Kim also believes Vietnam can move past war. Only highlighting the strength of hope and the weakness of wishing for that hope.
As we move throughout the song the duet progresses into the stark contrast of the lives of Ellen and Kim. As well as the painful irony as an viewer knowing that the thing that ties both of these characters together despite at this time not having met, is each of them having what the other desires and believes will make them happy. Kim has truth and love with Chris and Ellen has Chris as her husband. We continue throughout to see Kim's firm hope in antithesis to Ellen's desire to hope. With rushed lines and desperate claims that highlight Ellen's only true hope is that "nothing will keep them apart" as the part of him he will never "share" is what truly "hurts" Ellen. This secret being his actual love for Kim. Even though when Ellen finds this truth she has been searching for it does nothing but drive her and Chris apart further. We also see this in her warped vision of her ownership over Chris as his wife, as this legal contract is clearly the only thing that binds her and Chris together not real love like that between Kim and Chris. This later obviously leads to jealousy as a consequence.
They finally as the song draws to a close it has now become blatantly apparent the message of the show. That in truth you will be rewarded with strength and love and if you lie and tell half truths you will only receive resentment and the weakness that brings. In Ellen's case her possessiveness and jealousy. This everlasting moral is set in stone at the end of the song as both characters sing together for the first time in agreement. As they deliver the ultimatum "until we die" implying that the tragedy that will follow suit for the both of them is still going to happen but the difference is really in how they deal with it.
Overall that is why I think this is one of the most emotional and significant numbers in Miss Saigon both for viewers and for the lives of the characters in the show. This is because it really demonstrates the morals and messages of the show and characters, really helping the audience to understand the aim of the musical and what it intends for you to go away with after seeing or hearing it. On top of this it effectively develops the characters feelings and
conveys what they have been going through during the times skip within the show. Helping the audience to later decipher why characters act in the way they do, making this song both integral to the story but also important to the characters development throughout the chronology of the show.
That's the end of my analysis of I Still Believe make sure to keep checking in for another update to the songs of the week series in the next few weeks.
-Eva Noblezada as Kim in the 25th anniversary movie musical version of Miss Saigon
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